Go Ask Alice was published in 1971. The book is relative to our study of American History because it addresses the drug culture of the sixties. Written in diary form, the accounts in this book are taken directly from a fifteen-year-old drug-addicted girl’s own diary. There are no chapters.
The first entry is on September 16, and the subsequent entries start out as most teens’ diaries likely do. The young lady is obsessed with a boy, uncomfortable with her weight, and hoping that her skin will be clear.
The author is in high school, and her parents have announced that the family will be moving mid-year. She is excited about the move. A happy Thanksgiving is spent with her grandparents, and Christmas comes and goes. Immediately after the entrance of the new year, the girl and her family move to their new home.
Although her siblings and her parents have adjusted nicely to their new routines, the author is very uncomfortable. She has not made any friends, her weight is steadily creeping up and her “face is a mess.” (page 19) By luck, the author meets a young Jewish girl who almost immediately becomes her best friend. They have similar interests and concerns, and their families are happy about the girls’ friendship. Unfortunately, Beth must go away to a six-week summer camp. The author will spend some time in her old hometown with her grandparents.
July 7: She runs into an old “friend” who was part of the popular crowd. She is invited to a party. At the party, a game called “Button, Button, Who’s Got the Button” is played. (page 31) It seems that 10 out of 14 coke drinks are laced with LSD. The author is the recipient of one of the tainted sodas, and she tells her diary an indepth description of her trip. As wonderful and uninhibitting as the experience was, she is frightened of drugs and is happy that the episode is now in her past. However, this experience has also heightened her interest in other drugs, and she is specifically curious about trying pot.
On July 14 the author writes “I feel like Alice in Wonderland. Maybe Lewis G. Carroll was on drugs too.” Later that week, her “friend” Bill introduces her to torpedos and Speed. The author is elated that she has come out of her shell and is now happy. She hopes not to cause any trouble that would force her grandparents to send her home. Her grandfather suffers a mild heart attack, and the author is very good about helping around the house. By July 23 she is feeling like she would like to get past the drug use and even makes an excuse on July 25 to get out of attending a party. Several days later when her parents give her the opportunity to return home, she chooses to stay one more week with her grandparents.
On August 2 the author’s grandparents insist that she go out with her friends. Unfortunately, Bill is having a party at which all the kids will trip on acid. The author joins in. In her August 6 entry, the author confesses to her diary that she lost her virginity to Bill while she was on acid. The experience for her was “brilliant, freaky, way-out.” (page 41) On August 10 the author helps herself to a supply of her grandfather’s sleeping pills. She returns home on August 14.
With her supply exhausted, the author manages to get prespcriptions from a doctor first for sleeping pills and then for tranquilizers. She is also happy that on August 26 she gets her period.
On September 10 the author visits a local clothing shop and is given an “upper” by the shopgirl. After completing numerous chores at home and being unable to sleep, she is forced to take a tranquilizer in order to get some sleep.
The author gets to try pot on September 26 with her friend from the clothing store. She is also given several joints to take home with her and to smoke at her leisure. By October 6 she is selling pot to support her habit. Her boyfriend is a second year college student who keeps her supplied with all types of drugs. She is experienced at pushing the drugs at high schools and junior high schools, but she stoops to an all-time low when she sells to the elementary school. She is floored when she walks into her boyfriends apartment to find that he is being intimate with his male roommate. She feels like a disgrace to her friends and family.
On October 26 the author and her girlfriend Chris have travelled to San Francisco by bus. She has left a note for the police detailing her boyfriends illegal activities, and she has left a note for her parents. She and Chris intend to make a fresh start.
By November 23 both Chris and the author have been working in shops and staying clean. They are invited to the author’s employer’s home where they meet his wife and children. They are also invited to Chris’s employer’s house (her name is Sheila). Both girls start using again, as the drugs are free-flowing at Sheila’s apartment. The parties become more frequent, and the girls are hooked.
The author’s December 3 entry describes her experience the night before with heroin. Sheila and her current boyfriend gave the author and Chris both heroin and speed and then took turns raping the brutalizing them both. Again the girls vow to stay straight. They go in search of finding a place to open their own boutique.
By December 22 the girls are running a relatively successful little shop in Berkeley, California. They both call their parents, and they return home for the Christmas holiday. The mood in both homes is harmonious and festive. The New Year’s celebration is also very warm and uneventful, except for the fact that the author is happy to be home.
She starts school several days later and is confronted by a student who still thinks she’s selling. She hopes that the word get out that she no longer does. She also confides in her mother that there are many “fast” kids at school who are pushing both her and Chris. Both sets of parents will occupy the girls on the weekends to keep them safe. On January 24 the author writes that she and Chris did drugs the night before. She’s upset by what they did and at its destructiveness; however, she loves the highs and can hardly express how wonderful the feeling is. By February 13 the girls are pretty deep into using, and their supplier gets caught. Nonetheless, they’re pretty resourceful and have a new connection. The author’s biggest concern now is getting birth control pills.
On February 22 Chris’s home got raided by the police while her parents were gone. The author was there, and the girls said it was their first time. The girls are put on probation and are not allowed to see each other. The author’s parents are sending her to a psychiatrist. Meanwhile, they find that this is their supplier’s third arrest. He has been sent away.
The author slips out of town on March 5 after taking some drugs that were passed to her in school. That evening she took them and then hitched a ride which took her to Denver. She has met a couple kids who have suggested a trip to Oregon. They have enough acid to last a few weeks.
The dates in the next several entries are missing. Obviously, the author has lost track of time. She has spent a night under a park bench after which she sought refuge in a church. She’s been cleaned, fed, and seen by a doctor. She has attended several drug fests where drugs and sex was everywhere. She has described her sexual encounters that would culminate in a drug score. She has hit rock bottom. It is her desire to be clean and to make a purposeful life. Perhaps she could be a psychologist because she understands the problems and issues that young people face.
April 6 is the first date in Diary Number Two. The author is ready for a fresh start. She is attending school, counseling her brother about the evil of drugs, and she suffers her first flashback. She involves herself in planning a birthday celebration for her mother. The author is doing well in school; however, she is confronted with drug users each day. Many are anxious for her to once again become a user.
The author’s grandfather passes away. She mourns his loss, and helps to keep things together at home. On May 19 someone at school drops a joint in her bag, and she immediately shares this information with her dad. She cannot understand why the users at school are so intent on getting her to use drugs again. One of her former friends, “Jan,” has suggested that she may even offer some drug-laced candy to the author’s younger sister. Others have said that they might consider planting some drugs in the author’s father’s car.
The author continues to decline invitations to parties, and she occupies herself with studying and with socializing with a college boy named Joel. Joel was introduced to her by her father. He’s a good, smart, straight young man who truly cares for the author.
On July 7 the author learns that a neighbor has broken her leg in an auto accident. The author will cook, clean and tend to the baby and husband of the woman. Unfortunately, one night when she’s watching the baby, she eats chocolate covered peanuts that were laced with acid. The author wakes up in a hospital with bandages on her fingers and toes. She has clumps of hair missing. She had a terrible trip in which she felt that maggot were crawling all over her body. When she was well enough to leave the hospital, she was committed to a mental hospital.
The author’s days include breakfast, schooling, counseling, television and sleep. On August 9 the author is signed out of the mental facility by her father. He was able to get the two girls who accused the author of pushing drugs to retract their statements. The author returns home with positive thoughts and high hopes for the future.
The last entry in the diary is September 21. She is excited to start school again, and she’s thankful for the straight friends she has who will be supportive. She decides not to start another diary because she believes that she has reached a maturity level which allows her to discuss her life with others.
The author dies three weeks later from a drug overdose. No one knows if it was accidental or premeditated. The tragedy is that hers was only one of thousands of drug deaths that year.
Filed under: GO ASK ALICE
